You are either for it or against it, pro or con. I thought I fell into the con category, until a few weeks ago. “Divorcebook,” my friend calls it, after witnessing first hand the slaughter of a few marriages that may or may not have died, pre-facebook. Facebook seems to have overtaken most other forms of communication; is supposedly our “connection” to each other. I get that it can be useful, especially for keeping in touch with long distance friends and relatives. It’s easy, it’s quick, and it lets everyone know what’s happening in your life. You can form a group, start a protest, have a virtual “reunion.” After all, we are all so busy, right? Right?
Superbusy?
HERE ARE THE BEST FISH TACOS EVER says a caption, and a picture of said tacos.
Would you be taking a picture of tacos and discussing it with me, before facebook? No. You would see it as…a waste of time. You’d just eat them and be done with it.
MY SWEET, SWEET WIFE AND I ON THE BEACH, and… the picture of the smiling couple. I’m sorry, but, BARF.
This feels like propaganda, or at the very best, just bragging. Pre-facebook, you’d be telling me the reality, that he never picks up his clothes off the floor and you are sick of his love affair with the ipad. But I don’t hear any of this now, because you are too busy posting these pictures to send a personal email or, god forbid, pick up the phone. “But I don’t have TIME to call anyone,” I hear you say. MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE YOU ARE SPENDING SO MUCH TIME SENDING EVERYONE PICTURES OF PUPPIES!” Maybe, just sayin’.
It’s not just the time-wasting element that gets me. It’s the impersonal nature of it all. I had a friend request that I accepted. “I am so honored to become your 847th friend, “ I told him. He responded, “I know, I know”…turns out he was trying to get to 1,000. Ever hear your good friend had a baby over facebook? Obviously the mom didn’t email, because she is exhausted/still losing blood, but the least you could do, significant others, is lock yourself in the bathroom, avoid your newfound responsibility, and send a personal email. Sure, send it to 20 of us. 40 even. Just don’t let me find out about it weeks later. Ditto on death, doubly so.
How about a friend request that is totally inappropriate? I got a request from a guy that I had to shove out the door one late, beer-soaked evening. (College boys can turn into rapey-warewolves after about 1:30, and sometimes you need to physically kick them out before they get the clue.) But wait! Here is my potential rapist, asking me to be his friend? Dude, are you serious? Not only do I ignore this request, but I want to send a message back. There should be something stronger than “request denied.” It should say “Request noted, but recipient would rather impale herself repeatedly on flaming skewers than know anything about your life.” Some friendships (choke) need to die a natural death.
I have a friend who I do admire for her convictions. Her convictions have recently led her to veganism, which is great, but she keeps ruining my newfound respect for her by posting pictures of carcass’ hanging from hooks, with headlines of “HOW can YOU EAT MEAT, Knowing this?” It totally ruins it for me, as I chow down on the last of my cheeseburger.
These were most of my thoughts on facebook, until a recent friend request. “So and So would like to be your friend!” facebook relayed to me cheerfully. And there was the picture of my long-lost pal, her smiling happy face peering out from a tiny little square. I actually jumped up and down, yelling to my husband. “Hey! Do you remember so and so?” Of course he did, she was one of the first friends of mine he’d met. She’s the type of gal that lights up a room when she walks in. Her laugh is infectious and she suffers no fools. She is my absolute favorite type of person and I lamented her loss….due to time, distance…and… lack of facebook.
She may never have found me, if there was no facebook. I have to give credit where it’s due.
There are still a few out there who understand the need for personal emails. Just today I got one from my friend who has recently started dating, after losing his wife almost two years ago. I am thrilled for him. I am also honored that he wanted to share his good news, and not just have me stumble upon the fact that his status had changed.