When I was in college, a roommate of mine shared a great story. She couldn’t stop laughing while she was telling it, because she knew the punch-line.
…”So my friend was in India, and she’s walking through this big market, and realizes she is being followed. She tries to dodge this guy in the crowd but somehow he is always right behind her. So she came up with a brilliant plan..(tee hee hee) she walked into a store (hee hee) and went behind an aisle. When the guy came around the corner, she showed him this FACE!” At this point she turned her back to me, only to whip back with her arms up, making “the face.” I laughed and laughed as she explained that the guy jumped about three feet in the air and ran in the other direction, not knowing what to make of it. I have kept this memory in the back of my head for years: a possible solution to problems one can’t normally overcome.
As you can see here, the “face” has been around for thousands of years. ( I think what the second picture is saying is..make sure to make your eyeballs really, really big) The cavemen probably used it to scare off intruders or just confuse those they were fighting with. It’s very simple, and you can try it at home. First, bug out your eyes. Not a little bit, all the way, push them to the limit. Then, take your index finger and raise your upper lip over your teeth. Then pretend you are going to hiss, like a snake or a vampire (whichever you think is scarier). Viola! The Face! Here are a few worthy examples, although the upper lip really should be way up there for maximum effect.
I have used the face with some success recently. I’ve decided that in this day and age, the best tactic for dealing with really bad drivers is…you guessed it. Road rage is too prevalent, and I’m often with my kids, so the middle finger is ruled out. As is honking the horn because someone is a jerk (Jesus would use his turn signal, you ——-!) This method is actually perfect; it just confuses people. They are ready to be mad at you for driving slowly on purpose (they can tell you did it on purpose) but then they pass you, ready to honk, until they get a good look your way. A transformation happens, from “you jerk!” to “Whattthehell?” because these drivers don’t know you. This could, ahem, just be your face. Or you could be insane, which leaves the unpredictable factor, so… best to leave that alone. Or you could be mocking them. Or you could be…by the time they are working this one out you are long gone, and the look on THEIR face is priceless. You speed off laughing, having made your own day. Not only are you not mad anymore, but that person isn’t either, just…puzzled.
See? Everyone wins. Anger is gone, road rage diffused! I knew this would come in handy one day!
I explained this method to a friend of mine, and as she almost spit out her drink after seeing it, I knew it still held its power. “I am so going to use that one,” she said. A few months later, she did. “Hey!” she said. “Guess what I did the other day?! THE FACE. This guy was being a total A-hole, and as he sped past me, I did it, and it works! I felt better immediately, and he was really confused, and I just drove away laughing to myself!”
You too can employ this method in the future. Whether you’re being stalked, avoiding road rage, or simply want to end a conversation quickly, go ahead… use your face!