So….still reeling from the political news, yes. But I guess I should get back in the game at some point. I know I usually like to share funny stories or poignant ones or ones that make you feel less alone in the world with your own flavor of craziness. I’ll work my way back to funny soon. For now, you’ll just have to take what comes. A friend reminded me today of something I have forgotten. So I’ll remind you, and we can perhaps change the world a tiny bit.
She asks her daughter each day after school, “What extra nice thing did you do today?” and sometimes her daughter, a nice kid, has to think hard about that extra nice thing she might have done. For most of us, it wouldn’t have to be extra nice, just nice in the first place.
The idea of “pay it forward” is not a new one, it’s not an earth shattering revelation. But it gets forgotten. After New Years resolutions, after a near-miss on the freeway, etc. Sure, you get maybe a solid two weeks of gratitude and “I’m gonna be a better person” out of it. But then, slowly, we forget. It’s not at the top of our to do list. It’s somewhere after all the everyday stuff that we have deemed more important. But what if, in times like these, there is nothing more important than this?
I have my days, where I do remember. I send in an online comment which is nothing but praise. I do not send the one that isn’t, and remember that everyone is human. That one is easy, too easy, because it doesn’t require face to face contact. (I think this is why people vent so much bile this way…they are never accountable, they never have to look someone in the eye afterwards). It’s harder when people look at you like you are a nut for even speaking to them. But in past days I have complimented strangers, struck up conversations, like when I’m pumping gas or waiting in line. I realize I’ve been doing this without giving it much thought. I must need the connection right now. I need to see people, talk to people and witness their humanity, see that they can be decent. I need to know that simple acts of kindness change things, even for a moment. So when my friend told me this, I thought, yes. This is what I need to be doing, but I need to be aware of it. I need my kids to be aware as well, to make it a lifetime habit. I need them to think about it, and how it could change the world, the small ripple in the pond.
Sometimes it backfires. Sometimes you give an apple to a street addict because you want him to have food, and then he smiles at you and he has no teeth, as he chucks the apple backwards over his head. Sometimes you don’t have money to give to a panhandler, so you wish them luck, and then you realize that probably isn’t a great thing to say as they scream “I’m going to need luck with people like you around!” Yeah, maybe that will backfire. But maybe that person needed to vent and you provided that, so you did do them a service, by being a dickhead. I’m going to go with that one. But more often than not, you can just smile at someone. That’s it. So easy. So simple. There are deeds great and small that be accomplished with more effort, and I encourage you to do those too. But this should be a good place to start. Everyday. So…I’m going to make myself a note, because I forget everything unless I write it down.
One thing.
That’s all it’s going to say, and for now, and a long time from now, it will have to be enough.