![](https://i0.wp.com/www.erinmacnair.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/badbed-300x247.png?resize=300%2C247)
Not my room. Actually worse than my room, but not by much. And is that a finger chair? What is that? Anyway…
When people come over to my place, I like to show them around.
Take them for the ol’ walk through, show them where the facilities are, that kind of thing.
“And this is our bedroom!” I say, closing the door. I just smile. No explanation. Or sometimes I say “It’s just a room with a bed.” Which is not quite true. There is also a dresser. Pretty much like when I was in college.
For some reason the bedroom is always last on my list of things to decorate. There is always something more pressing than fixing up the room I sleep in to be something more than just the room I sleep in. Why? I’m not sure. It’s almost pathological, this inability to fix it up. Usually I just wait until we move houses, thinking, oh well, the next place we live I’ll really decorate the bedroom! Get those throw pillows people seem to have! But that might be part of my problem. What’s with the throw pillows? Do people hang out in the bedroom so often that they need fifty pillows to get them comfortable for their long stay? I get those Bed Bath and Beyond coupons in the mail, so I can see what I am supposed to do here. But more often than not I just stare at the pictures of highly decorative beds, confused. That would look at home in the bordello on Game of Thrones, I think. And who has time to take off and replace all the pillows at the end and the beginning of each day? Because at the end of the day I am tired. I’d probably just slide in underneath the pillows and punch off as many as needed in order to find a breathing hole. I wouldn’t even be able to find my husband (it is a huge bed) but that might be good for him, he could build a “snoring wall” on my side. He could break through when he wanted to or just pull out a brick/pillow and say “can I visit?” But I wouldn’t hear him because I would be snoring and buried under pillow rubble.
I also think it has to do with needing to buy different sheets. Do you know how long it took to find the right sheets for this bed? I am a slob, clearly, but also a sheet-snob. I like high thread count Italian sheets (go figure). I have tried others…like the supposedly awesome bamboo sheets? I called the store I bought them from and asked them if they were supposed to pill after a few weeks… and the clerk told me “They only pill if you have extremely rough feet,” and to that, I couldn’t really find an adequate comeback.
“Huh,” I think I said. “Okay…”
If that is the case, then the sheets should come with a warning!
WARNING: ONLY BUY THESE SHEETS IF YOU PLAN TO GET PEDICURES ON A REGULAR BASIS! BECAUSE IF YOU DON’T- THEY WILL PILL! AND THIS WILL BE YOUR FAULT, YOU OBVIOUSLY DISGUSTING CREATURE! AND THE SALESPERSON WILL LET YOU KNOW THIS!
You can see, getting new sheets is a big obstacle for me.
But the other day I announced…
I am going to fix this bedroom! Make it look like something!
My husband nodded. “Yeah, it does basically look the same as how we had it in college.”
Only there isn’t a futon on the floor, and the dresser has working drawers, which is always helpful. I do have bedside tables. Which, uh, actually aren’t bedside tables. One is a bathroom unit from IKEA and the other is a record player stand, with sleeves for albums (which is actually great for storing five million books). So, you get the picture. And if you’ve been to my house you know, I do actually like to make things look decent. I will spend a great deal on a painting I like, because art is important to me and makes me happy. But the bedroom? How could I have let it go this long? I’d show you a transformation picture, but out of all the sharing and too-much-information I’ve put out over the years, this really would be too much. Colonoscopy advice, sure! Skin tag removal advice? No problem! Pictures of horrendous bedroom, no.
Hold that thought, I just need to go shut the door.
![](https://i0.wp.com/www.erinmacnair.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/04/goodbed-300x157.png?resize=300%2C157)
This could be my new room! Pillows and Aquariums! Except then every morning I might think I’m drowning at the bottom of the sea. Also where do the books go? And are the lights inside the aquarium? Ok, I’ll keep looking….