Ok, so who decided it would be a good idea to put pop ups on all the stupid websites I ever visit? And yes, most of them are completely harmless…get yer mind out of the gutter. Wait..it wasn’t there? Oh. Carry on….
I’m reading what looks to be a very legitimate news site, when I see something at the bottom about a lion that adopts a fox rather than eat it. I think…Oh!, that will make my day. (I’m a sucker for the animal shows. My favorite is the BBC “walk on the wild side” if you need a good laugh, just you-tube it) I watch the lion video, awwww. Then I scroll down to check this website out..and low and behold….CELEBRITIES who got FAT! CHECK OUT these boobs! And again, with the BOOBS! Except, this is my computer, so I don’t think it’s gearing ads towards what I look at. Ryan Gosling’s boobs, maybe. But Cheesy t-shirts, furniture, and recipes, yes. I get lots of those things. When I go to look at a recipe, again, at what I think is a big and legit website… the whole screen is suddenly covered by something I have to click out of. DO YOU WANT TO TAKE THE SURVEY no I don’t want to take the effing survey, I haven’t even seen the recipe yet. I use the arrow to scroll down, except…somehow I click on an ad that starts blasting music at me, trying to sell me a car or a blender or whatever. Aghhhh! Stop it! Then I try to escape and accidentally hit another button that zooms me off to some unknown web location…telling me I need to try this super vitamin that will absolutely and completely save my life. WTF? Have websites become just a way to trick people into a virtual rabbit hole, from which they can’t escape? Maybe I should have some pop ups. For say, The Onion, or that one where Batman repeatedly says manumanumanu over and over again. That would be helpful for others.
The part that does make you click….is that you kinda want to know. You know. Where the sharks fly out of the water and eat people whole, right IN FRONT OF THE CHILDREN! Photoshop has come a long way, people.
Gross! And from CNN! But actually just a shot from Jaws 2. Whew.
The worst is when you can’t actually get past a pop-up. It’s blocking the thing you actually wanted to see, but unless you click it, you can’t move anywhere. These are also the ones that hide their “X box” and again, trapped inside the madness which is Dr.Oz or Acura or CELEBRITIES who got OLD. Geez, I hope they got old, otherwise they’d be dead, right?
I even found this on a free app. I thought sure, download the craigslist app on your phone. That way when I’m pretending to watch swimming lessons, I can actually troll for other peoples beat up shit to buy. But nothing is free, is it? After about a week a pop up appears on the bottom, telling me I’ve won an iphone. I can be stupid, but not that stupid. I click on the “remove ad” button, but another ad immediately takes its place. It will not die, this thing.”Why didn’t you like this ad? Should we save your preference?”
Sigh. Yes. Save this preference.
But then…another effing ad! For World of Warcraft! Which is also obviously not geared towards my particular viewing cycles! And then…..“for 2.99 you can remove these ads”. I notice the ads are blocking the button function for actually doing anything with the app.
Sigh. I deleted it.
I will just have to actually pay attention at swimming.